I got to go meet a Kristin and Jason's new baby boy, Brian Robert, today - she tried to have a normal delivery, but she couldn't get his head out because he was so big and she was so little, so they did an emergency c-section. He was 10 pounds, 10 ounces, and 23 inches!! Can you imagine trying to push a baby that size out of a girl who's about 115 soaking wet?! She had him late on the 22nd. She's doing great though - she said the doctor's were talking about letting her go home tonight instead of tomorrow night.
AND one of the girls I met on the military moms board in CA was in labor this morning, so her little girl will share my birthday!! :) YAY
So the morning was fine. I got home, ran a quick errand to the post office. When I got home, I had just settled into my favorite chair after putting Brady in the swing for a nap when the doorbell rang. UPS, my favorite! I got flowers from my brother and his wife and Brady got an ADORABLE but completely overpriced outfit from them. George FINALLY said happy birthday, but then he disappeared and never said goodnight....something he rarely does.
George and I turned in our rental application back in May (because I'm super anal about it). We FINALLY got a call last week that we were the first on the list and that an apartment was going to be available on September 7! Hooray - good news for a change! We were the first on the list for September (because I had applied so early). I paid the application fee and they called back to let us know they were running a check on our credit.
Of course, without fail, something had to go wrong. I have/had really great credit. My husband, however, did a little too much spending and a little too little paying bills when he was in college, so he had a repo-ed car that we JUST paid off last month. I have put any new accounts in both of our names so as to raise his score, but it has subsequently lowered mine just being married to him. UGH, credit sucks.
I got a call this afternoon around 5:30pm from the rental complex - our application has been denied due to a mark on George's credit. Seeing as he's the only one with an income, my score doesn't do much for us. I mean, I get an income from Lia Sophia, but it's nowhere near enough to pay rent - just enough for extras and a little playing. I've got to put in calls to this company to attempt to straighten this out so that the rental complex will consider us again, but we go directly to the back of the line now and there's no guarantee that it will work out in our favor. So much for trying to be proactive. All this WHILE I'm packing and moving Brady and I 600 miles. Shoot me now.
I had to work tonight - last Lia Sophia party in VA!! It was the only night the hostess could do the show, so I reluctantly agreed. Party went ok, she's got to do some work on her sales to qualify the show for all her benefits, but I think she'll do it. I also go someone else to host a party (which is very exciting right now - I get someone to say they'll host, I send someone in my place - I get the profits, they get any additional hostesses they can), so it was an ok night.
I got home from the party around 9pm, finished eating dinner, and George writes me an instant message! He apologized for disappearing earlier (it was about 11pm his time the last time I heard from him). He told me that he'd gone out to use the bathroom adn that he'd collapsed on the way back. A couple guys had to carry him to the aid station where they gave him an I.V. for dehydration. When he got back to his room last night, he apparently just passed out. He still didn't feel right when he was telling me this, so he was skipping PT and going back to the medic for another I.V. It's between 120-130 everyday over there, and these poor guys are dropping like flies - he said some guys go every single day for an I.V. whether they "need" it or not, just to make sure they stay hydrated. AND, he gets no recovery time other than the time between when he got back to his room last night and going to work this morning. They think the 1.5 hours from the time he got the I.V. until the time he goes to work is sufficient!! I don't understand how the military can treat these guys like this....
I'm just ready for today to be over. I think it was semi-foolish of me to expect too much while my parents were gone and George was gone and it was just me and Brady here together. Mom got home and made cupcakes, but I'm kinda out of the mood now....
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Sleep evades me....(this one's mostly for YOU)
I cannot tell you the last time I slept a normal, full night's sleep without the use of a sleep aid. It's 3:30am and I'm wide awake, bawling my eyes out.
I miss my husband more than any words could describe. In the last week, I have cried every single night, wishing he was home, wishing he was helping me raise Brady and not missing out on milestones that he has to catch through pictures and video....it's so unfair. And it's not even just my husband. I know I'm one of hundreds of thousands of people missing someone who has to fight in Iraq or Afghanistan. I support these men and women in their everyday duties, I try to be patient when I don't get to speak to my husband everyday. I know I'm lucky that we get to talk nearly every single day.
I just hate being apart from someone and fighting all the time when we're supposed to be in our "honeymoon" stage, that precious first year of marriage where everything is sweet and considerate. I feel robbed, cheated somehow. I hate seeing men or women in uniform when I'm out in public - hello! With Quantico and Fort Belvoir both within 30 minutes of where I live, it's impossible to not see SOMEONE in uniform. I'm so pathetic - I do my shopping online so that I don't have to leave the house.
And then, everytime Brady has a milestone - smiling, "talking," eating solid food, rolling over....my first instinct is to grab the camera to take pictures and video so that George won't feel left out, so that he'll still feel like he didn't "miss" everything in Brady's first 8 months. But then I feel horrible when I have to tell him that he's missed something else, but hey, there's pictures and videos of it. I cannot imagine what he feels everytime he sees pictures or video of Brady. If it hurts me, the range of emotions George feels must be unbearable.
There was a scene on "Army Wives" Sunday night that really hit home. The spouses (all wives, one husband, one soldier) are sitting in a circle at a bar table, each with a shot. They are going around and each toasting one thing that pisses them off. The husband said "I'm pissed because I've spent half of my marriage alone." I don't want to be that way!! I want my family to be together and to be safe. I want all of us to experience everything together, at the same time, in the same moment.
I know that I married into this, knowing that George was in the Army, so it seems HIGHLY unfair that I would complain at all. I am enormously proud of my husband every single day. I know that he is over there, wishing he was here every single day. But he doesn't complain. He does his job every single day, even on the tough days. He knows his duty is to serve our country and he does it with so much pride. I hope you know how much I respect that, George.
George, I am SO proud of you. I am lucky and grateful to have you in my life as my best friend, lover, husband, and soulmate. I love you. I miss you. Come home safe. The day you come home, I don't care if it is pouring down rain - we will be standing there, soaking wet, waving our flags, waiting for you to arrive, waiting to see your smile and to feel your breath on my ear as you whisper that you love me, waiting for you to hold Brady and to hug him and to hold him high in the air. I know you just want to see and be with us every day and night. We say goodnight to you every night and pray for you every night before we go to bed. Mom caught Brady just staring at the black and white photo of us above his crib a few mornings ago. No babbling, no cooing, just staring at it. He's growing so fast, but we talk about you every day. We know you think about us every day and that you love us. But I don't tell you how much I love you enough.
If you ever need a reminder, ask me for one. I should remind you everyday, and I don't and that's wrong of me. You are so much braver than I will ever be. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for loving me in spite of all of my many faults. Thank you for opening your heart to our son. Thank you for being my husband.
I miss my husband more than any words could describe. In the last week, I have cried every single night, wishing he was home, wishing he was helping me raise Brady and not missing out on milestones that he has to catch through pictures and video....it's so unfair. And it's not even just my husband. I know I'm one of hundreds of thousands of people missing someone who has to fight in Iraq or Afghanistan. I support these men and women in their everyday duties, I try to be patient when I don't get to speak to my husband everyday. I know I'm lucky that we get to talk nearly every single day.
I just hate being apart from someone and fighting all the time when we're supposed to be in our "honeymoon" stage, that precious first year of marriage where everything is sweet and considerate. I feel robbed, cheated somehow. I hate seeing men or women in uniform when I'm out in public - hello! With Quantico and Fort Belvoir both within 30 minutes of where I live, it's impossible to not see SOMEONE in uniform. I'm so pathetic - I do my shopping online so that I don't have to leave the house.
And then, everytime Brady has a milestone - smiling, "talking," eating solid food, rolling over....my first instinct is to grab the camera to take pictures and video so that George won't feel left out, so that he'll still feel like he didn't "miss" everything in Brady's first 8 months. But then I feel horrible when I have to tell him that he's missed something else, but hey, there's pictures and videos of it. I cannot imagine what he feels everytime he sees pictures or video of Brady. If it hurts me, the range of emotions George feels must be unbearable.
There was a scene on "Army Wives" Sunday night that really hit home. The spouses (all wives, one husband, one soldier) are sitting in a circle at a bar table, each with a shot. They are going around and each toasting one thing that pisses them off. The husband said "I'm pissed because I've spent half of my marriage alone." I don't want to be that way!! I want my family to be together and to be safe. I want all of us to experience everything together, at the same time, in the same moment.
I know that I married into this, knowing that George was in the Army, so it seems HIGHLY unfair that I would complain at all. I am enormously proud of my husband every single day. I know that he is over there, wishing he was here every single day. But he doesn't complain. He does his job every single day, even on the tough days. He knows his duty is to serve our country and he does it with so much pride. I hope you know how much I respect that, George.
George, I am SO proud of you. I am lucky and grateful to have you in my life as my best friend, lover, husband, and soulmate. I love you. I miss you. Come home safe. The day you come home, I don't care if it is pouring down rain - we will be standing there, soaking wet, waving our flags, waiting for you to arrive, waiting to see your smile and to feel your breath on my ear as you whisper that you love me, waiting for you to hold Brady and to hug him and to hold him high in the air. I know you just want to see and be with us every day and night. We say goodnight to you every night and pray for you every night before we go to bed. Mom caught Brady just staring at the black and white photo of us above his crib a few mornings ago. No babbling, no cooing, just staring at it. He's growing so fast, but we talk about you every day. We know you think about us every day and that you love us. But I don't tell you how much I love you enough.
If you ever need a reminder, ask me for one. I should remind you everyday, and I don't and that's wrong of me. You are so much braver than I will ever be. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for loving me in spite of all of my many faults. Thank you for opening your heart to our son. Thank you for being my husband.
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